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an unfinishable story
my life through the ages

Ryan
Date: 2007-01-03 03:01
Subject: low battery
Security: Public
We all wish that we end up were we want to be.

We all want to be successful in our journey there.

We all desire to make those whom we love happy in our success.

We all but one. And the one is so hard to handle, because the one used to be such a part of the success to the end.

Life goes on and the coffee keeps dripping. I wonder where I'll be in another six months.
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Ryan
Date: 2006-07-12 00:28
Subject: first time long time
Security: Public
Do you ever question yourself more than you should?

Do you ever realize that you question yourself? If you realize that you second-guess and question your motives more often than you should, shouldn't you then realize that indeed something is wrong? Why do you think about it? Why do you go against your gut, go against your upbringing, against what you know and enjoy, to go out on a limb, away from many of the things you love, for something that causes you to second-guess yourself?

Be forceful. Be valiant. Stand up.
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Ryan
Date: 2006-03-05 00:44
Subject: spring break
Security: Public
Mood:bouncybouncy
I'm sitting here in my room in Richmond trying to be witty and clever for you all since it's been so long since I've updated. I feel that you've earned it by keeping me and my very active inactivity on your account. But alas, the frigid cold and dog odor have seemly saved you from my horrible transgressions regarding the events of the past fortnight or so.

Oh, and I'm getting paid for all the big words I use. A nickel every time I use a word with more than two syllables.

Okay, just kidding. But I kid you not when I say I ate an ice cream drumstick and three push-up pops last night while watching Anchorman with someone who has yet to see it and two of my friends who are accompanying me down south to visit Dad and the family.

I also lose a dollar for every run-on sentence. Damnit.

Indeed I am heading south to visit the paternal unit and his finance on Monday morning. Driving about 12 hours directly south should give me plenty of time to think about witty quips and clever jokes, but alas the laptop is staying in the commonwealth. However, I would love to visit everyone down in Fort Lauderdale during this week, so give me a call! You know the cellular info, so use it!

Lose a penny for each punctuation and grammatical error? I'll be poor by the time I hit submit.

So I ask you, my loyal iFriends, to decide one very important question that I have. I have a bet with a certain girl who refuses to see the obvious answer to this question. I winner receives their weight in gold...the loser faces an authentic Kenny vs Spenny Humiliation (google it). So I ask you:

Rank the following musical/movies in order of superiorness:
a. Rent
b. Moulin Rouge
c. Phantom of the Opera.


Happy Trails!
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Ryan
Date: 2006-01-15 01:52
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:mellowmellow
Music:Caribou - Pelican Narrows
I have goals for this semester.

I never have goals for semesters. I need to take ownership of my life - I feel like last semester got away from me from the very start. But not this time.

I will make this a "kick-ass" semester by doing the following:

Kick-ass in my studies: I have 19 credits full of the most exciting classes including Quantitative Methods and Accounting 2. And a Soc class. And a music theory class. My last semester was the lowest semester I've had here so I need to counteract that with the highest GPA I can get here: the elusive 4.0.

Kick-ass with my friends: I suppose this one goes a little deeper and is a little more abstract. Mengersen introduced me to the phrase 'a jack of all trades but a master of none.' I seem to sometimes feel this way with my social life. I have many friends, some closer than others. Now that I'm not seeing the Tubas on a daily basis I hope to again branch out and meet more people. But while meeting new people is great and all, I look forward to building strong bonds with a few people. I haven't felt like I can completely and totally open up to someone in a while, and I hope to build friendships that allow me (and the other person) to open up and feel comfortable in where we are in life.

Kick-ass being a RA: I came back into my hall today thought to myself that I had a successful semester being a RA. My supervisors love me because of my paperwork skillz, but have I really made an impact on my residents? I know I have for a few, but I have 35 guys that I want to make better. I hope through dedication and a ton of imagination and some luck I can pull off some great programs. I really do like this job, and although I don't intend on returning next year I want to make this next (last?) semester awesome.

Kick-ass at life: I am now a junior in college. I reached the 'peak' and I'm on my way out. I'm certainly not ready to go out and get a job or an apartment in some city. I want to stay up late, go to class in the snow, go to basketball games with crazy drunk kids, have 7 car-bombs on St. Patty's day and ENJOY MY COLLEGE YEARS. I found that this last semester I gave more of myself to others than ever before. I want to continue to do that, but to also look out for myself so I don't burn out like I did last time. I want to be the best I can be at all I do. I want people to think of me as someone who KICKS-ASS.

Wonderful. Those are a few of my goals. Now how about somethings I won't worry about:

The small stuff: and it's all small stuff. I'm not going to stress over a resident asking too many questions, a staff member drinking in his room or when I need to do a wash. Life is way too short to stress over stupid things that really don't matter too much in the end.

Girls: I'm done worrying about it. I never really worried about it, but I think that I 'put the pussy on a pedestal' because I haven't dated anyone in...a long time. Big deal. I'm over it. I'm going to do my own thing on my own time in my own terms. If a pretty girl wants to come along, then let's go. It's my turn.

People who bring me down: there aren't too many out there, but when I interact with you I feel less of a person. And that's not fair to me. I have every right to feel like who I am and not who you think I am or should be. Same goes for you; I'm not going to push my thoughts on anyone anymore. I'll offer them if you want and then you can do what you please. Just don't make me feel like a horrible person for being me.

---

A little deep for Saturday night, but I feel it's important to get this out before the semester starts. Thanks to all of you who support me and I hope you feel that I support you when you ask for it (and even when you don't). Another journey begins...

and I have always thought that it's all about the journey, not the destination.
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Ryan
Date: 2005-12-24 22:10
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:energeticenergetic
Well I think it's time for my monthly livejournal update.

I finished the semester the way I used it all along - mediocre. Not to say I didn't do well, but I was glad when it was over. I really feel that RA training and all of the activities in the beginning of the semester took it out of me and that I played catch-up all semester long. :( I'm looking forward to this next semester to give me a fresh start and bring the GPA back up.

After closing the building at Tech I headed home to Richmond for a night and then headed down to Fort Lauderdale with my brother. Uneventful flight except the lady I was sitting next to on my Philly-FTL flight was German and scared of flying and hurricanes. I assured her that no hurricanes were coming. But once we landed I saw all of the damage caused by Wilma. I didn't think it was all that bad - the national news showed some downed trees and signs missing. Only when we drove downtown did I see the extent of the damage. It was pretty rough. I'm glad everyone is alive and well after what must have been a very, very scary experience.

I saw a few friends at the mall and a few more that night. One friend I saw was happy to see me - we hadn't seen each other in months and we exchanged a warm, sincere hug. My other friend didn't really want to hug me, but did anyway, half-heartedly. Thanks.

I then headed down to the Keys with my family and enjoyed a few days in the sun and clouds. I swam in the heated pool and caught up on my DVDs. We headed back on Thursday afternoon and my good friend Steve visited me. I heart him much. We sat on my Dad's couch and talked about the good times and the bad. We headed down to the beach to kill some time and stopped by the new and improved Big Louie's. If you haven't stopped by yet, do so when you can. The place looks completely different and looks fantastic.

Steve dropped me off back at my Dad's and Clay and Kelly picked me up. We went to the Panthers game and had amazing seats. AMAZING. Suite level at center ice. Didn't get any better in the house. Although Horton didn't score a goal for Clay, we all had a good time catching up and spending time together. I'm glad to see them and can't wait to listen to some Purple Rain at the local pool hall. :)

Friday I got up late and putzed around the house until dinner time. We went to Brasilia Tropicana on Federal in Pompano. GREAT place to go! Great food and a great show. I went with the family and rolled my way out the door. We headed back to the house and opened gifts and then headed to bed. I was supposed to visit Mr. King's shindig but was hit by a wave of sleepiness. I fell asleep and got up 5 hours later to catch my flight back to Richmond. Mom made a great dinner and here I am.

Next I drive to JAX for the Gator Bowl and then back down to Ft. Laudy. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a happy New Year!
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Ryan
Date: 2005-11-29 17:03
Subject: wtf
Security: Public
Mood:crankycranky
I'm so tired of not doing well in school this semester.

Thankfully it ends in a few weeks. After four final exams that will test me on what I apparently do not know.

I blame it all on always having my door open. Maybe I should shut it.
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Ryan
Date: 2005-11-28 21:52
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:mellowmellow
Music:Dredg - Jamais Vu
Okay. I'm heading to JAX on Friday afternoon. I'm getting to JAX early (or late) on Saturday morning. Odds are I can't see many people outside of the game, so...if you are coming, FIND ME in the band.

On another note, I was going to sit here and describe the girl that I'm missing in my life, and then Dredg came on and I feel very empowered to be on my own and be independent. Why do I think there needs to be a girl in my life? There hasn't been one in awhile (in retrospect, Jodi and I never really got off the ground) and other people are finding people to spend time with. I think about what I've known about girls and relationships, and I realize I don't know all that much.

I think it comes down to if I want to know more.

I think being a RA can be a very lonely job if you let it become one. I wish I had known that when I signed up. I also wished I knew how to

I can never finish these.
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Ryan
Date: 2005-11-24 20:59
Subject: Happy Turkey Day
Security: Public
Take the quiz: "Which Laguna Beach Character are You?"

Kristin
You're Hot and like to party!!! Ms. Popular! Why have one boy when there are plenty to go around!? Plus you don't want anyone to tie you down when you're just trying to have fun.


:P
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Ryan
Date: 2005-11-24 00:49
Subject: grrrr
Security: Public
Girl Turn-Off #37: Using 'your' when meaning 'you're'.

Girl Turn-off #38: Using grammar noted in #37 ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION.

BAD GRAMMAR UPSETS ME.
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Ryan
Date: 2005-11-20 00:49
Subject: The U
Security: Public
Top ten things I learned today:

1) Getting up before dawn for football is so worth it.
2) UVA fans are the worst fans in ACC football.
3) UVA just plain sucks.
4) VT > UVA
5) Driving home today felt great.
6) The U still sucks, and proved it today.
7) More family than I thought were coming are coming tomorrow at noon.
8) Did I mention that the U still sucks?
9) Undercooked cookies at Max & Ermas really aren't very good.
10) If we beat UNC at home on Saturday, we go to the ACC Championship in JAX on Dec. 3. If we beat FSU, we're looking at the Orange bowl against Ohio State, Penn State or ND.

Oh, BTW: It's 12:58 and the U still sucks :)
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